There was such a huge build up to the Olympic trials in June - a pressure I had never really felt before and a roller-coaster of emotions. It was self-inflicted pressure as I needed to make that Olympic team. I needed to know that every tantrum, every drop of blood and sweat which has gone into my training over the last few years has been truly worth it. Making my second Olympic Games far outweighs the heartache of the last few years; it's an achievement which wipes the slate clean and makes me forget the low points that sport has thrown at me.
Unfortunately during that Olympic build up I became ill a few days before the trials. Thankfully, it didn't affect me on race day however I made the mistake of getting back into a really hard training week too soon. Instead of focussing on getting myself healthy again, I squeezed in some big, gruelling sessions. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I never thought I would be disappointed with a 6th place finish at the Europeans Championships but sadly I was. The good thing is that both me and my coach know where we went wrong. In simple terms, I over-did things in the lead up to the Championships. Warming up, I felt like I was running on empty and unfortunately when the gun went off my legs did too. It was a mistake and one that's cost me a good performance but these mistakes are the ones that will make me stronger in the long run. It's a mistake that won't happen again.
The 5,000m is a new event for me and completely different to the steeplechase. Qualifying time racing compared to championship racing is also very different. It was important for me to use the Europeans as a stepping stone to the big one in a few weeks. I needed to be thrown in the pond before being flung into the sea. I've learnt so much from my race at the Europeans and I know that I still have so much to learn.
It's evident that I don't have enough mileage in my legs or the strength I need in order to be competing against the worlds’ best. 45 miles a week is nowhere near the volume I need to running in order to race at this level. However, this year was all about staying injury free, being sensible and building things up slowly; those things I have achieved.
Someone wrote to me on Twitter saying, 'Don't be disappointed, you've had a serious injury, surgery, a year out of the sport, changed events, ran two Olympic qualifying times in your first two races of the year, ran PB's over 1500m, 3000m and 5000m, come 2nd in the British champs, 6th at the Europeans and are on your way to Rio!' Reading that back was a bit of a slap in the face. I couldn't have dreamed I would be in this situation at the start of 2015 or 2016 - so I have to put things into perspective; respecting where I've started from and the circumstances surrounding this year. I'm proud of what I've been able to achieve and feel silly for being disappointed but it's only because I know there is so much to give.
I dropped down from a stint at altitude to race the London Diamond League last Friday. It was amazing to be back in the Olympic Stadium once again. Racing the 1500m was certainly a shock to the system. I really struggled to keep up with the speed of the girls over the first lap, but it's no surprise as these girls are the best 1500m athletes in the world! Thankfully, my strength kicked in over the final lap and I muscled my way to take 7th in a world class field, only a second from 3rd place and I came away with a 6 second PB! My time of 4.03 actually ranks me higher in the world than my 5000m time. It just goes to show that when you're in shape, you're in shape over any distance; speed comes from strength. The whole experience was amazing due to Laura Muir - my fellow Scot and Dundee Hawkhill Harrier - taking the win and breaking the British record in the process; the crowd were going wild which helped me to put such a good performance in.
###p16th August. I would love to make an Olympic final but it's extremely tough, especially in the 5,000m. The Kenyan and Ethiopian athletes are a world apart from the European and American athletes but with only three athletes representing each nation, there are definitely a few places in the final up for grabs. I'll be wearing the GB colours with a huge smile on my face and I know my family will be oozing with pride watching me compete on the TV. All the blood, sweat and tears will have been worthwhile the moment I toe the line in Brazil.