Breaking up is never easy, but one thing can make it even harder: social media. Increasingly, posts made in the heat of the moment are coming back to haunt people during divorce and separation cases. If you’re facing a relationship breakdown, it’s worth stepping away from your keyboard to protect your privacy and help ease the process.
Family lawyers Paige Burton and Philippa Abernethy recommend that couples show restraint and respect when navigating a separation, warning that angry posts on platforms like Facebook or TikTok can add unnecessary tension to an already stressful situation.
Social media posts can become evidence
It’s not just venting online that’s problematic. Social media posts, private messages, and even WhatsApp exchanges are now frequently used as evidence in disputes.
Paige Burton, a Senior Solicitor specialising in Family Law, shares a cautionary tale:
“We were involved in a case that ended up in court, where hundreds of horrible WhatsApp messages between the couple were presented as evidence. The saddest part was the negative impact all this acrimony had on their young child”.
Social media can make it all too easy to fire off a comment or share a frustration in the heat of the moment, but these impulsive decisions can have long-term consequences.
Why taking a respectful approach matters
Separation, divorce, and co-parenting arrangements are emotionally charged issues. However, the importance of remaining calm and respectful to work toward a positive outcome is essential - especially for any children involved.
“Separation is always difficult,” explains Philippa Abernethy, an Associate in the Family Law team. “But taking as much emotion out of the situation as possible can help everyone involved reach a solution that works.”
A conciliatory approach often results in better outcomes. For instance, using methods like mediation or collaborative law enables couples to sit down together, discuss their issues, and reach an agreement tailored to their specific situation. This approach avoids lengthy and costly court battles while helping to foster more positive co-parenting relationships in the future.
A child-centred approach
When children are involved, the stakes are even higher. Parents need to keep the focus on what’s best for their child, setting aside personal grievances to create an environment that minimises conflict.
“Even if things are difficult, it’s essential to remember that the other person is still the mother or father of your child,” Philippa says. “Co-parenting requires collaboration for years to come, so the more amicable the starting point, the better.”
Taking time to reach an agreement can also pay dividends in the long run. “When parents agree on their own arrangements, they often feel more in control and satisfied with the outcome, which is key to making these agreements work.”
Avoiding the new year spike
It’s no secret that January can be a difficult time for relationships. “Divorce Day,” as it’s been dubbed, falls on the first working Monday of the year. This time - with the strain of the festive season and the arrival of Christmas bills - often sees a surge in people contacting solicitors about separation.
Rather than letting emotions boil over on social media, couples are encouraged to seek support from professionals who can guide them through the process in a constructive way.
Seeking support
If you’re considering separation, remember that there are resources available to help you navigate the challenges ahead. Organisations like Consensus Scotland and CALM Scotland offer advice on mediation and collaborative law, which can be invaluable in finding a path forward.
Taking the time to focus on respectful communication and avoiding social media drama won’t just protect your privacy - it could make all the difference in finding an amicable resolution and ensuring a better future for everyone involved.
First published in the Sunday Post, 6 January 2025
