The gossip columns often focus on celebrity feuds over their children. The High Court in London has been hearing arguments in a case involving the dispute between Guy Ritchie and Madonna over their 15-year-old son Rocco. Rocco remained with his father in London after an agreed holiday period and Madonna’s legal team have been using the provisions of the Hague Convention to try to have him returned.
If you take away the famous parents you actually have a very sad situation for a teenage boy to deal with. Rocco is old enough to have quite clear views about what he wants to do but he is still not an adult in the eyes of the law, and his parents seem unable to resolve their differences.
Another story relates to Peter Andre and Katie Price, whose bitter divorce was headline news a few years ago. Although they did seem to put their differences to one side and focus on the well-being of their children, if the papers are to be believed, they may once again be on the verge of battle over whether their daughter, Princess, should be allowed to take part in a beauty pageant in the USA. Mum, Katie, is for the idea while dad, Peter, is very much opposed to it. Again although it makes for attention-grabbing headlines, at its centre is an eight year old child. A child who should be able to rely on her parents to act reasonably and look after her rather than battling each other.
Often family disputes can be resolved using mediation or Collaborative law. However, in some cases, the court does have to become involved. It is easy in the adversarial process to forget the children at the centre of the case and focus on “winning the fight”. The courts will try to find a consensus rather than impose an outcome but if none can be found the courts will take the decision-making away from the warring parties and impose a solution.
Even parents living together often have different ideas about what is acceptable, from the appropriateness or otherwise of certain activities for a child, the approaches to discipline and having differing views about significant matters like religious upbringing.
The test applied in any decision about a child is whether what is being asked for is in the best interests of the child. In a case like Rocco’s, a Scottish court would take account of his views given his age. For little Princess Andre, the court is directed to try to ascertain the views of younger children but it is likely they would be obtained from a court report. It is for the court to then attach weight to the views of the child.
As family lawyers we work with clients whose relationship has broken down. The end of a marriage does not mean an end to being parents. The separating parents who have the best outcomes for their children are the ones who find a way to resolve differences without falling out, who focus on doing the very best they can for their children and who respect one another as parents even if they no longer want to be together as spouses.
