Sunday 19 June 2022 is Father’s Day and to avoid this event becoming difficult or fraught, particularly for newly separated parents, but also for their children, it’s worth planning arrangements ahead of the day. This can help reduce or avoid conflict or upset for everyone involved.
Celebrations such as birthdays, seasonal festivities and annual events like ‘Father’s Day’ can bring with them additional strain for many newly separated or divorced parents. Important matters such as splitting childcare between both parents, dividing or alternating school holiday time, financial responsibility or introducing a new stepparent for example, are all important aspects to consider.
Statistics from Civil Justice in Scotland* indicated an increase in the number of divorces in Scotland being granted in recent years. In 2019 -20 there were over 7000 divorces granted, a 7% increase from 2018-19.
Parents facing Father’s Day this year for the first time should try to remain reasonable and keep your children and the centre of your planning. Pre-booked activities or previously arranged scheduled contact time may mean that children can’t be with their father on the actual day so both parents need to be sensitive to that. This is likely to be more difficult for fathers but worth them remembering that children will pick up on any resentment. If you find yourself in this position, perhaps trying to shift the focus away from that day, stay off social media and plan for your next time with your children to make it easier to cope with any disappointment you feel this Sunday.
As a rule, communication is key to avoiding unnecessary pressure or upset during family events. Ensuring everything within a contact arrangement and/or separation agreement is listed and agreed is important for everyone involved which in turn can reduce stress and maintain a balance. Importantly, this may help children better process the separation by offering structure in what can be a turbulent time. As well as helping you plan ahead for the future.
After a separation, many parents are able to discuss and agree care plans for their children. It can be helpful to have something in writing setting out what has been agreed. This will not have the same legal force as a court order however it is important to remember that the legislation dealing with court orders concerning children does provide that an order should only be made if that is better for the child. Parents are encouraged to make their own agreements if they can do so. Agreements can be fairly informal but depending on how amicable and/or simple the separation arrangements are, they may need to be more formal. Advice from a solicitor either way is highly recommended.
If you need advice about contact and/or separation agreements, feel free to get in touch with our family law team who will be happy to assist.
