It’s a question we’re often asked when families and relationships break down.
There’s an Italian proverb along the lines of “If nothing is going well, call your grandmother!”
This pretty much sums up the role that grandmothers (and grandfathers) often play in children’s lives – the best source of treats, a sympathetic ear, and life lessons on anything from baking to fishing.
But in the crossfire of a divorce or family breakdown, grandparents’ contact with children is often lost. This may be deliberate, or just the result of the fall-out from family conflict, changed lives or relocation.
If this happens, what rights do grandparents have to see their grandchildren? Grandparents of children in Scotland don’t have any automatic right to contact, but they do have various avenues for securing it.
If family conversations about seeing the grandkids have failed, the next step is to look at family mediation or other methods of ‘alternative dispute resolution’ (ie alternatives to litigation). Family lawyers with experience in this area are used to removing the heat from such situations and finding workable solutions that suit different family members – especially the children.
If all else fails, it’s possible to apply for a court order for regular contact between grandparents and grandchildren. It’s not only grandparents who can seek a contact order with a child – siblings, aunts, uncles, other relatives, godparents or even friends can do so too.
In deciding whether to grant an order, the court will look, above all, at the best interests and welfare of the child(ren). Though there is no automatic right to contact, courts usually recognise the valuable role that grandparents can play in children’s lives. The presumption is usually that a continuing relationship is in the child’s best interests, unless there’s evidence to the contrary, such as a risk of abuse.
However, as well as being expensive, going to court can increase the acrimony in a family situation that’s already difficult. There’s also no guarantee that an order will be granted, so the expense and stress may be futile. Trying to secure contact through mediation or collaborative methods should be better for all involved – the child, the grandparents and the rest of the family.
To return to the main contents of lindsays life issue 15, please click here.
