If the debate about so-called divorce leave has brought one issue to the fore, it’s that the huge emotional upset of separation impacts upon our professional lives as well as our personal ones - and that support should be there for those needing it.
Potentially thousands of parents across Scotland will soon be entitled to time off work if they find themselves splitting up as major employers - including Tesco and Asda - sign up to a new voluntary scheme.
Under the Positive Parenting Alliance’s initiative, employers taking part will amend human resources policies to treat separation similarly to a family bereavement. They will provide leave or flexible working to enable staff to manage things such as collecting children from school. Access will also be provided to support services, including counselling.
It’s a move that recognises the fact that separation and divorce is a significant life event. For those entitled, having confirmation of that will provide reassurance.
But, amid all of the daytime television discussion this has generated, it’s important that we do not lose sight of the fact that good employers already support staff during separation.
I’ve been a family lawyer for more than 30 years and advised countless people on divorce in all manner of circumstances. The reality is that most businesses will allow employees time off to meet their solicitor, manage practicalities and look after their emotional wellbeing. That’s rightly so.
Research by the Positive Parenting Alliance found that nine in 10 parents said their work was adversely affected when they divorced - and 95% said their mental health at work suffered.
That’s unsurprising given that divorce is not a single action, rather a trigger for a series of stressful life-changing decisions, including how to financially support two households, how children should divide their time between parents and whether to return to work full-time.
Some of those pressures have only been exacerbated by the cost of living crisis.
When it comes to work, colleagues who specialise in employment law say that “going through a difficult time at home” is often cited as a reason for underperformance or inappropriate behaviour.
They advise that it’s always best to try and understand what drives someone’s actions, remembering that the stress caused by divorce is usually temporary. The benefit of being understanding and giving an employee time to return to their usual self is longer-lasting.
In the most serious of circumstances, sick leave is an option for some. Every person is different, though. And I know many who’ve found being able to switch into “work mode” a welcome distraction to all that’s going on at home.
Divorce does not come with an instruction manual. No-one can predict the toll of its upset and endless practical upheaval. It can so often leave people feeling as though their professional lives are being thrown into flux as their personal ones are in the deepest turmoil.
Greater recognition of this is not amiss. But, with or without official “divorce leave”, colleagues can be strongly supported by employers who show sense and sensitivity.
This article featured in the Herald Agenda on 13 March 2023.
