Fears about rising bills have added further uncertainty and complexity to relationship breakdowns. But even when splitting up, couples can come together to contain costs.
The cost of living crisis is dealing a double blow to many couples. Initially, financial issues and anxieties put a strain on their relationship; and then, ironically, those same issues make it harder to split up.
We’ve seen a common pattern recently that the fear of high legal fees, on top of anxiety about how to support two separate households in a time of economic uncertainty, is stopping some couples from separating. In some cases, this could be positive, giving them an incentive to patch up their differences. In other cases, it’s less positive, preventing a separation that would be better for their wellbeing.
Kitchen-table discussions
In the latter case, the most practical way forward is to minimise the costs of a split by discussing and agreeing as much as possible before bringing in lawyers. If a couple can decide constructively on their needs and wants post-split, a lawyer can then advise on the practicalities of how to make that happen. It’s likely to be quicker and cheaper for everyone than paying lawyers to wage a protracted family law battle!
Collaborative approaches
Of course, keeping things amicable is easier said than done, and many people understandably feel the urge to score points in their divorce discussions. However, it’s never cheap and rarely therapeutic to escalate to court, and the outcomes from a court’s decision won’t necessarily be best for either party.
In contrast, ‘collaborative’ law, where lawyers and perhaps other experts such as financial advisers or life coaches sit with couples to resolve any issues, can help things move on. Both the financial and the emotional costs can be much easier to bear – even in a cost of living crisis!
How to prepare for meeting a divorce lawyer
- Gather as much information as possible about your matrimonial finances
- Get that information in good order, so it’s immediately clear for your lawyer; that will save time
- Work out the questions you want to ask
- Be ready to be open and constructive
- Ask about bringing a friend or family member – as long as their presence won’t delay, distract or provoke!
Alison McKee, Partner, Family Law
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