Have you ever watched The Split? The TV legal drama has returned for its third series, and as ever it's packed with great clothes, enviable kitchens, and wise words on the importance of the "good divorce".
To celebrate the return of The Split*, we're giving our own tips for achieving a good divorce (or avoiding a difficult one becoming more tortuous or torturous).
DON’T use online solutions, DIY services or apps. Not only do different parts of the UK have different divorce rules, but every couple’s finances and circumstances and, most importantly, children are unique. This is the rest of your life you’re thinking about, so you need a solution tailored for that.
DO be informed about financial planning and provisions. Be clear about all the assets involved, and get some financial advice. There may be tricky and technical decisions around, for example, division of pensions or a business (or even the possibility of hidden or disappearing assets) and you’ll need help with that. Don’t agree to something in haste and suffer for it afterwards.
DON’T go straight for the jugular. The divorce is the end of your previous relationship but also, perhaps, the start of your new co-parenting relationship. The nature of the divorce will make it easier or harder to embark on that. DO keep the children out of it. Yes, they need to be consulted about future contact and residence arrangements, but, no, they probably don’t need to hear your views about your ex-partner’s failings or new relationship(s). When putting things on social media, remember that your children, your ex-partner, their friends and their solicitor may see your posts. DON’T rely on the courts (or your pals) to steer the divorce. The courts can only apply a narrow set of legal rules and your friends’ “legal advice” may be skewed by their own experiences and lack of legal knowledge. You’ll get better outcomes from using experienced and creative solicitors and mediators.
DO recognise that some stages of the divorce may become argumentative or emotional, whatever your intentions. Good solicitors and mediators will help to inject balance here: agreed and constructive approaches will usually produce better outcomes and avoid a costly (and possibly unsatisfactory) trip to court.
*You can find all three series of The Split on BBC iPlayer.
Jennifer Gallagher Partner, Family Law
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