Separated parents can give their children a great Christmas gift by keeping the contact arrangements amicable and grown-up. Here are some practical tips
Many children of divorced parents will tell you heart-rending (or funny) stories about their family Christmases past.
The pressure to ‘enjoy’ a second Christmas dinner. Spending half the day on the road so that both parents ‘get a go’. The fact that a two-puppy Christmas can be too much of a good thing. Or sadder stories about arguments or emotional manipulation.
"Be empathetic and sensible and make plans that will suit your children."
The grown-up approach to Christmas contact
For separated parents, this year brings new dimensions of stress to the planning, since families don't even know what will be permitted over the festive season. But in 2020, as in other years, there are strategies to prevent – or resolve – issues around Christmas contact arrangements.
Consider the law as a last resort. The courts prefer not to have to intervene in family life, and they would rather families resolve issues like Christmas sensibly themselves. And, anyway, would you really want a judge to plan your Christmas?
There is no legal default position on contact at Christmas, but the arrangements should be in the best interests of the child(ren).
Behave. Be empathetic and sensible and make plans that will suit your children. That doesn’t necessarily mean trying to outdo the other parent in terms of presents or treats.
Be pragmatic. Pay attention to the logistics – such as the risk of bad weather and cancelled transport. And discuss a plan B, in case a parent or child develops Covid symptoms. Also think how any new-found familiarity with video technology such as Zoom, Teams, Skype or WhatsApp could help this year.
Look at the bigger picture. Christmas isn’t the only calendar event that requires separated parents to cooperate: the same applies to holidays, birthdays, and every other day of the year.
It can be helpful to look at these dates in the round – for example, Christmas with one parent could be balanced by a birthday with the other parent – as long as that meets the ‘best interests of the child’ test.
Our specialist family law team can support you with planning contact arrangements with children, at Christmas or any other time of year.
