Coping with the emotional and financial aspects of a separation or divorce can be very difficult for all the family. Our family law team are often asked by clients “What should I be doing?” With this in mind we’ve put together some practical steps to help ensure the separation goes smoothly and is fair.
- Seek advice from a specialist Family Law practitioner.You should have a clear understanding of your rights and responsibilities. These will differ according to whether you are married or cohabiting.
- Look for alternatives. Going to Court may not be the best way to resolve the issues. Alternatives for reaching agreement on the division of their assets and/or the care arrangements for children such as Negotiation, Mediation and Collaborative law are all effective dispute resolution options.
- Change the tone. Aim to establish a civil, business like relationship with your estranged partner.
- Don’t argue in front of the children or involve them in the adult issues.
- Think carefully about how you are going to tell the kids about any separation, what you are going to tell them and how you are going to reassure them. If possible tell them together with your spouse.
- Get informed. The more information you have, the better. In many relationships one party will handle the family’s finances and the other will have less knowledge having taken responsibility for other tasks. If you do not know much about your family’s income, outgoings and assets, find out. Your solicitor will help you with this if required.
- Get organised. Retain copies of financial documents in a safe place and print information that is stored on the computer.
- Make a list of your assets and any debts and understand their value. If you can, you will also want to make a list of your spouse’s assets and debts.
- It's all about balance. Consider closing or freezing joint accounts so that they do not run up balances that the bank can then ask you to repay. Aim to have some funds in an account in your sole name to support yourself in the short term. Take advice from a solicitor before making any changes to the household financial arrangements. In most cases it is better to give your partner some notice of your intentions.
- Update financial and legal documents as soon as possible. A married couple will routinely name the other as the beneficiary in their Will, on their insurance policies, and as their death in service nomination. Following a separation most people’s wishes change.
Separation or divorce can often be a stressful and emotional experience. You can also look for support from friends, family members or from independent professionals such as your GP or or a counsellor. The better care you take of yourself, the better placed you will be to deal with the tough parts and make decisions that will set you up in the best possible way for the future. If you would like to discuss any of the issues raised in this article please contact a member of the family law team.